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Genesis

And this is the story how everything began, my way to Melbourne. I wrote this for the animation and animation workshop class of Mr. Felix. I am sure that it is not what he expected (or wanted?) me to write, but - to be honest - for me it was the attempt to tell a boring story in a more exciting way. So I just took him at his word: »There is no right or wrong, there is only interesting or uninteresting.« I wonder if he reads this now (Hello Felix!).
The reason for this biblical headline maybe comes from a few animation short films about the ten commandments by Phil Mulloy which I saw on the Melbourne International Film Festival yesterday. Dark British humor, but the characters in the Austrian movie »Hundstage« (dog days) by Ulrich Seidl were much worse.

The Devil in Me!

Life is like a line. It starts at a certain point, it ends at another point. However, it´s not a linear line. Never. Which is good. I could not think of a life more boring than to directly connect life and death without any ups and downs, without any faster and slower passages, without to cross other lines which influence the own one. I think you would agree with me, wouldn´t you? However, in a more reduced scale, people always want to directly get from a point A to a point B. This is why they invented elevators, microwaves and wedding chapels.

 In Melbourne, Australia, some elevator doors in the 6th floor of a building slide open and a man - let?s call him Felix just to choose any name ? enters the lift. It?s just after work and if it was his way the elevator could not be fast enough. Impatiently he pushes the button to the ground. In Oslo, Norway, little Sissel opens a microwave. She can hardly wait until the microwave turns an undefined but tasty cold mass to an even more undefined but even more tasty hot mass. Impatiently she pushes the start button. In Las Vegas, USA, the digital display of a wedding chapel announces the marriage of Jack and Joanna. They met some hours before in a bar around the corner and after a few drinks they came to the conclusion to make the best out of their lifes, to mary, settle down and to start a family. No, this time they found the right one, this is no mistake again. Impatiently they insure themselves that they didn´t loose the wedding rings. We are at point A. Point B is near at hand. It´s the elevator´s doors opening at the ground floor. It´s the sound of the microwave when the meal is ready to eat. It´s the moment the wedding rings get changed.

My story starts at point C, which is somewhere between point A and point B. The location is Dornbirn, Austria, and I just knock on the door of the education abroad unit at my university. The reason for this actually is to be found about one year ago when I was in the second semester and saw a presentation about a partner university. A man showed us graduation works of students from a multimedia course. The comments about the works were in a strange language, but the man seemed to be sure that anyone would understand him. »Australian slang« I was told by a girl next to me. Australia. »When I was in Australia I also was in Melbourne«. Melbourne. I knew where Australia is on the globe, but I did not know where in Australia is Melbourne. Anyway, I was very impressed by the works and I was very taken by the idea to do my semester abroad there. Not that I knew a lot about this country, but I was fascinated by the distance. The possibility to do a semester abroad was one reason for me to study at the university in Austria. The more distant the better. Physically I was at point A, but in my thoughts I already was at point B: Melbourne. About one year later and a few days before I knocked on the door of the education abroad unit there was a ranking which decided who would get a place at a partner university. »You can ask for your ranking number at the education abroad unit« an email promised. So we are back at point C. The door opens, the education abroad officer asks for my name and takes the ranking list with her left hand. The forefinger of her right hand wanders to the list and rests on the top for a while. I wait. The finger moves up to adjust her glasses and returns to the top of the list again. It is Friday afternoon. At the same time in Melbourne an elevator starts to move down, in Oslo a turntable starts to rotate in a microwave and in Las Vegas a man replies »yes« to a pastor. The forefinger in Austria slowly moves down the list, a pair of eyes follow it and quickly move from left to right and back again. They do this exactly 31 times until they come to a rest. »31« the education abroad officer says. »Out of 33« is her answer to another question of me. In Melbourne an elevator gets stuck between 3rd and 4th floor, in Oslo a metal spoon in a microwave causes a fire and in Las Vegas a lady vomits »yes«. In Austria a door to another continent closes. I leave the university campus and I know that it´s too late to get a foot into that door. Decisions are made. I will stay in Austria. Not that I expected to get to Melbourne which was the top university to go to, but it was very depressing to realize that I wouldn´t get any place to study abroad at all. Now the common dealing with situations like these gets in progress: to blame the people who are responsible for the ranking system up to blaming myself because I could have done better. In the end there is nothing but a lack of motivation both for getting involved in working for the university which, of course, still remains the instance to blame for and to try to find another university for the semester abroad. It´s just an empty time. And that´s exactly what a man in an elevator thinks while he waits for a mechanic to get him out there. So he starts to imagine what would have happened if he got stuck in that lift some hours later. After all it is Friday. A weekend stuck in a lift, now that´s a challenging situation to get through. Maybe he would have to find the devil in him to get out again. »The devil in me!«, he thinks, »That´s worth to remember.« So he keeps it in mind to maybe someday give an assignment to his students with this topic. He is a teacher at a university. He teaches to tell stories. The doors open. The first-aid men of the Norwegian Red Cross bring a girl with a smoke poisoning into the emergency ambulance. The doors close. And the man who a few minutes ago seemed to be the turning point in her life leaves the woman in the wedding chapel behind and loudly swearing enters the streets of Las Vegas. Back in Austria a few uneventful weeks pass by, only disturbed by some fellow students telling where in the world they will go to the following semester. Leaving Dornbirn to meet my parents and my brother is a good diversion, so we change the location to Munich, my hometown. As a side effect there I can tell my story and complain about the injustice that happened to me. What a bad, bad world out there. But wait! Unexpectedly we approach the turning point of this story. Maybe it´s not as exciting as you expect, but the sentence »at the moment we can afford to financially support you for a semester abroad« which I hear from my father and »just try it, one´s own initiative always works« which I am told by my brother open my eyes. This encouragement turns a switch. Now my only goal to reach, more than ever before, is to do this semester abroad. Not anywhere but at my personal point B, Melbourne. Out of spite I want to demonstratively turn my back on my university and turn the ranking list upside down. This decision is followed by a very long and stressful time to manage to get to Melbourne. The deadline for applications is near at hand. It needs a long time to find out who is the person to turn to. Problems arise to get a visa. I have to blindly book a flight without to know if there is a place for me at all. It is a long time of uncertainty. I leave out the details, but to cut this long story short, I was not envied by my fellow students. Now I invite you to make a jump in time. We are in the present now. I am in an elevator at ground level and I want to get to the 6th floor. Opposite to me there is a couple. What we know about them is that they met in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas. What we don´t know about them is that they take it very easy that they offended against celibacy just one hour ago. I don´t want to stare at them the whole time so my eyes move down to a tabloid in the woman´s right hand which shows a large picture of a smiling girl. What we know about the girl is that she unvoluntarily went for a spin in an emergency ambulance. What we don´t know about the girl is that the best thing she ever ate was an undefined hot but tasty mass after her discharge from a four month stay in a hospital. The couple leaves at the 4th floor hand in hand and a man enters the elevator. What we know about the man is that he got an idea when he was stuck in the very same elevator about four month ago. What we don´t know about the man is that in a few minutes he will introduce himself to the students in his class as Felix, the teacher. The elevator doors slide open and I enter point B.

Comments

Punkt Punkt Komma Strich...

... und fertig ist das Mondgesicht? Offenbar sind Rechnung und Ergebnis nicht immer so simpel.

Hallo Anatol.

Schöne Story, die du da ins Netz gestellt hast. Zeigt, dass man aus zwei Punkten, die mit einer Linie verbunden sind (die einmal durch eine Pause unterbrochen wurde) auch was gutes machen kann. Hoffe, der von Zahni gewünschte Überdurchschnittlauch hat bereits die Tür eingetreten. Ach ja: Ich habe mir gestern die zwei in Acrylharz eingegossenen australischen Spinnen aus unserem Wohnzimmerschrank angeschaut: Die sind wirklich groß und böse und eine davon lebt ganz in deiner Nähe...
Nö, mal ehrlich: Hoffe, dir gehts gut und deine Mitbewohner sind villatauglich. Wenn man im Netz "villa" übersetzen lässt, wird "mansion" draus. Wieder zurück bekommt man "das Herrenhaus". Der nächste Durchlauf ergibt "manor" und dann "das Schloss". Und weils so schön was nochmal: erst ist es der "palace" und dann "das Barockschloss", was uns zur Rockmusik und damit weg von der sprachlichen Untersuchung führt. Gemeinsam ist allen jedoch der residentielle Charakter, wobei sich am Ende alles Richtung Schloss zu neigen scheint. Wenn also die Australier noch nicht auf dem hohen Niveau der subversiven Sauforganisation aus dem Land hinter dem Voralpenland sind, muss ich den dringeden Apfel an dich richten, ihre sicherlich gute Grundlage auszubauen.

Viele Grüße

Thomas

Achja. Das warst doch sicher du, oder?

http://www.sueddeutsche.de/aktuell/sz/artikel1165.php

Posted by Thomas, 08/08/2002 10:23am (22 years ago)

meed your help

hey ho nugob,
wie Du ja weisst, kann ich, der Zahni, noch nicht einmal deine postings lesen, denn es ict ja Rätselrennenzeit (no, its duchfalltrinken-abend)... und da hab ich gleich eine bitte um mithilfe an Dich... schau mal auf www.sz-magazin.de dir die I-Net-Frage "wer liegt dennn da" an (Kunst fürs Internet...) und mail mir wenn Du ne Idee hast... danke, ich miss weg..

nee sonst mal im Ernst. Ich hoffe, es geht dur in allen belangen des Studentischen Lebens überduchSchnittlioch gut und du kannst deinen Zweiten Frühling des Jahres geniessen... cu ZAhni

Posted by Horse in The Hospital, 07/08/2002 2:47pm (22 years ago)

Hey ... bist Du online?

Hallo ...? Das war doch eben noch nicht da. Kannst Du mich hören, Anatol? Hallo?

Tibor
[Arbeitsbeginn, müde, kaffeetrinkend]

Posted by Tibor, 06/08/2002 10:35am (22 years ago)